Most people don’t want what they think they want. And I can prove it.
In-fact I’m going to prove it here in a minute.
We’re living in a world right now where our desires and intentions are birthed from a very sedated perspective. The agents of this sedation? Money and Adulation.
We’re living in a world where people want to be seen, want to be approved, want to be loved by others.
A society where it’s more important to be seen to have the virtue than actually have the virtue.
I was speaking with a friend over our weekly cigar relaxation time and I said to him, I’m afraid for the future, because right now the value is not being placed on the having of a virtue but rather the display of the virtue.
For example if confidence is a virtue, we’re very easily seduced into being given approval on Facebook or Youtube, Social Media in general where our “profile” can display that confidence and we’ll get approval accordingly by the people following us. But we never actually have to cultivate that confidence in ourselves, just watch people who are confidence, emulate their “look” and we’ll get the same response.
The world is moving so fast that we don’t have the time to stop, spend time with and assess whether the object truly has the very virtue we respect or not.
This is going to cause a major epidemic of depression as these tools we’ve created separate us from the us we portray that everyone approves of.
If we had epidemics of children experiencing depression by not being able to secure the approval of their parents, this is a whole new level.
The syndrome of keeping up with the Jones’ has nothing on keeping up with the inflated, 2D perspective of ourselves we portray and get approval for.
While I could have a discussion about the impacts on society of this for hours, I really want to focus in on how this is affecting entrepreneurs, productive people that keep the economy moving and how to do a “mental reset” to ground yourself.
By the way, I’m speaking on this from experience, I’ve been the one to write Facebook updates to get the highest amount of likes, I’ve been the one to write about certain topics or slant my view to get the most approval from my audience and I’ve been the one to experience moments of self doubt with the gap between myself and “myself” increasing.
If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know that in the last year I’ve really stopped writing regularly on social media, I’ve stayed away from as many approval seeking activities online that I can.
Very recently after doing some research on human performance psychology I removed my intentions I’d published and made public on this blog too. did you know that by making intentions, goals, desires “public” is actually counterproductive to their manifestation? Just the release of making them public destroys their chance of manifestation. In-fact studies showed that people who made their intention public immediately worked about 40% less than for their manifestation than someone who kept it internal. Really fascinating topic, and ancient indian yogic philosophy covers this concept with the idea of having a Sankalpa. I’d go to a search on TED for Derek Sivers and listen to his talk as a great starting point to that.
I’ll write more about this concept in another post as it’s fascinated me…
But why I’m fascinated by this going back to the idea of people not really wanting what they think they want is this…
In our industry, I don’t just mean the investment education space, I mean among entrepreneurs in general where we have followings of people, people getting inspired by our moves, statements and status’… How is the publication of our goals and desires affecting the distancing self image which in turn in affecting the root of our desire.
If I make a statement and say I want to become a Billionaire on social media, say that gets a hundred likes from people feeling “empowered” in some weird way by me stating something that hasn’t happened in reality yet.
With this adulation, immediately my dopamine levels feel a short term high and then drop until I make the next public statement. So I start chasing the same high.
Very quickly, you’re seduced strictly by the adulation that comes from the goal and not the goal.
But unlike before the internet where you had to actually go and become a Billionaire for people to acknowledge that you were a Billionaire, now a simple flurry of likes on Facebook gives us that adulation we’re craving so actually working for the goal becomes secondary to feeling great about being approved for the goal.
Combine this with the illusionary chase for money we’re programmed to have by being bred in a consumeristic society where “more” is always way more valuable
And you’ve got a real problem.
So you’re chasing money, for the adulation that comes from making it, getting the adulation by stating that you’re “going to make it”, feeling the disposition between yourself and the image of yourself, setting more goals to feed the image you’ve created of yourself to get further approval of ambition and being satisfied by the social approval you get every time you make an announcement, which is all creating this false illusion of Fame that you’re getting more and more dopamine spikes and getting more and more addicted to this growing illusion of what you think you want.
This is the social dilemma of success. Why more people appear like they’re “doing their own thing” and making progress slower than ever.
I had a friend who decided to set up a business, he registered the company and then posted the company registration document to Facebook stating that his business was real and “official”.
People flooded this post with likes, congrats, approval and adulation.
18 months later… The business is still in “development”.
“Spiritually” speaking in terms of energy and vibration, what causes lack of progress is a mis-alignment to the goal. As we speak more about our intentions, receive adulation, get addicted to the dopamine high, change our intentions again to create more of a dopamine high and get further and further away from who we truly are and our true intention.
I’ve really found that grounding your intention outside of the pursuit of adulation and the chase for more money is KEY for keeping your head out of the clouds of perception.
How do you do this?
Well, I’m not exactly sure, there’s no blueprint to this yet, but I’m going to share with you how I’ve begun to do it…
Every morning I now wake up and my first mission is to sedate the automatic chase for money and pursuit of adulation automatic reaction, THEN I work on my vibration or alignment to my intention, then I get to work.
I’ve found asking the following question every morning and doing a mental re-set from the trappings of the chase for money and search for adulation, is really transforming my focus and journey fast…
For every conscious intention I have, I ask:
“If I was to get all the money I could ever need tomorrow with no attachments besides that I had to leave public eye totally, disappear forever and walk away from all my current pursuits of money, what would I need from [INSERT INTENTION] to make me happy?”
Sounds simple but I warn you, be very careful asking yourself this, initially your mind will say “exactly what I think I want” then you start thinking about it, 5 minutes go by, you realise it means no more contact with anyone else, no need to do something to prove anything to anyone.
What makes you truly happy?
I asked myself this with the 3 main areas of focus I set myself at the beginning of the year, Wealth, Health & Romantic Relationship.
So far after a basic simple contemplation on my goals for 5 minutes each while driving (for those that know me, know I do a lot of thinking while driving) I found that the attachment to the pursuit of money and adulation was completely shifting my perceived intention for what makes me happy.
I was in a complete mis-alignment in most cases of what I truly wanted in all 3 of my main focus areas. The conditioned pursuit of money and the cycled chase for adulation had created such a separation between what I thought I wanted and what I truly want that it was scary.
I’ve found this a useful way to keep yourself grounded in what you want, what you truly want.
It is your duty to cultivate yourself into the image you see from within, not from the idea of success and chasing that adulation you’ve been taught to crave to validate your value in world that takes it and then tries selling it back to you.